Self Care Things You Can Do This Week.
As someone who lives with mental health issues, including ADHD, I know how challenging it can be to find the time in your week get everything done and still have time for yourself. Our lives become busy and stressful very quickly (at least mine does…) and it takes intentionality to slow things down. But in order to truly look after ourselves, our bodies, our minds, we have to practice self-care. And I’m not talking about just taking a bath and drinking a glass of wine (although this can be relaxing); I’m talking about consistent practices of self-care, mini-habits that become part of our mundane day-to-day.
What I am learning, and failing at, and having to try again and again, is to focus on the small things. I often start to feel overwhelmed and stressed when the big things seem like they’re piling up and I don’t know how to tackle things before it all inevitably comes crashing down.
But when I choose to focus on the small things, the do-able tasks, the simple joys, the little pleasures, I find myself less burnt out, less anxious and less likely to have an emotional dip. The more I practice this, the more I’m able to deal with the ‘big things’ in my life.
Now, by no means am I spewing the following information out like I’m some kind of an expert. I am very much not. More times than I’d like to admit, I tend to forget to focus my energy on one thing at a time, and then suddenly everything feels like it’s swallowing me up and I get very anxious. But these are a few things, simple things mostly, that I’m trying to bring into my every day life. Not all at once, but slowly stacking them.
My therapist has reminded me that I have to take simple things and slowly, but consistently, build them into habits; to rewire the neural pathways slowly so that they become second nature. And sometimes that means pushing through a period of discomfort when these things don’t come naturally. Knowing they are helping me and that I want to make these changes, helps me to keep going through the discomfort.
Maybe something on this list will help you, or at the very least remind you that it’s okay to take a step back, breathe deeply and just accomplish a few small things each week. You’re not in competition with anyone, not even with yourself. So don’t fool yourself into thinking you always have to have everything figured out.
Start every morning with a warm drink.
Many people will give you their morning routines: wake up at 5AM, don’t look at your phone for 30 minutes, do this or that specific breathing technique… But that’s too much for me. I find waking up very difficult (even more so in winter) and so what my therapist has helped me figure out is a low-maintenance morning ritual that sets me up for a good day.
It essentially just includes waking up 15 minutes before I want to get out of bed. I spend those 15 minutes in bed with a warm drink. Some days it’s coffee, other days I make tea for me and my partner, and on rainy days we have hot chocolate.
But no matter the weather, we sit together for 15 minutes in the morning. It’s part of our routine.
Even if we don’t speak to each other in those 15 minutes, even if we spend that time scrolling on our phones, we set that time for us to wake up, have our coffee and start the day together. And let me say, on the days we don't get to do this because someone pressed snooze too many times, or there’s an unexpected early work morning, those days are significantly more stressful for me. My 15 minute, cosy drink in bed with my partner days are ALWAYS better days.
2. Write in your journal once this week.
I wish I could journal everyday, because it’s a very therapeutic activity for me. But in general, I get caught up in the hubbub of every day life once Monday begins. It usually takes me until midday Thursday to remember to catch a breath, slow down and reflect… (I’m trying to get better at this.)
By committing to writing in my journal at least once a week, I’m teaching myself that I deserve time to myself, that I deserve to just sit down and ‘be’. Because when I sit down to write, I go into a little bubble. It’s like a sanctuary. And it’s all mine.
Perhaps journaling isn’t like that for everyone, but taking out some time once a week to pause, reflect and recalibrate is important for everyone. Even if that time looks like organising your weekly to-do list, or replying to messages from your friends and family, the time you take just to ‘be’ is invaluable. It’s a consistent reminder to yourself that you’re human, and that not every moment of life has to be go, go, GO! So prioritise some YOU time.
3. Pick up your stuff from the floor.
For me, it’s usually pyjamas or dirty clothes, sometimes notebooks and the endless clutter content of my backpack that get strewn everywhere. Undoubtedly, there’s something on the floor. I’m sure you’re familiar. And while I’m not suggesting that this is something that can solve everything in one’s life, I do know that when the floor is empty my mind feels a little less cluttered. Even if the clutter is now in piles on the floor, at least I’ve cleared up some space and organised things a little.
I have a basket that I use for my dirty laundry now, and I try my best to pack up my bag each night before bed so I can start the next day without scrambling around looking for my stuff (inevitably forgetting something) before racing out the door.
So one of the things I’ve been trying to do is to pick up my stuff and putting it away. Realistically though, this happens once every few days. Still, it’s something I like to do to clear my space, and clear my mind.
4. Take an “everything” shower.
An “everything” shower is for the girlies. If you know, you know. If you don’t, trust me, some days you have to light some candles and close the bathroom door on all your problems. And then “everything” happens.
The Order of an Everything Shower:
Dry brush (great for lymphatic drainage)
Scalp massage (great for circulation and hair growth - 5 minutes)
Get into a warm shower!
Full body scrub (exfoliation is key!)
Body oil (especially in winter)
Shampoo (scrub your scalp)
Rinse
Shampoo again (double whammy)
Conditioner
Shave (if that’s a thing you do)
Rinse the conditioner out
Cleanse your face (whatever your routine)
Rinse everything!
Deep breathing for 2 minutes (steamy)
As you can see, an “everything” shower is when you take some time just to be with yourself and care for your body. Get rid of dead skin, oily hair and rinse the stress away.
5. Call or message a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while.
I promise you, reaching out to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while can do wonders for your mental health and emotional well-being. Adulthood can sometimes mean that we get so busy that we don't always have time to chat to our friends as much as we did when we were sixteen. Even though I saw my friends everyday at school, we’d still be chatting non-stop on our phones after school. I don't really have time to do that with anyone anymore… And adulthood also means you don’t always live close to your closest friends anymore. I know I don’t.
But when I make the time to call my friends, wow what a difference it makes! A bad day can change in the space of a 5 minute conversation. Sometimes my friends and I will schedule these calls - and when we do those times are sacred. Because we’re all working and busy and in different time zones sometimes, we make these times count.
Other friends I have will call me whenever they think of me, or I think of them. These spontaneous calls often change my day - being reminded that I have people in my life who thought of me and wanted to chat! Even if it’s only for 10 minutes, connecting with someone you love is so vital to your well-being.
6. Take a walk outside or just sit outside for a while.
Perhaps it’s cliché (and I hate to be cliché) but going outside, breathing in the fresh air and moving your body is truly good for you! It’s one of those things that I hate to recommend (mostly because it’s cliché) but it does actually work. On days when I feel low or grumpy or like I can’t get out of my head, going for a little walk in my garden or just sitting under the trees with a cup of tea can really get me out of my head and ground me again.
Everyone’s preference for the outdoors is different. So I’m not trying to prescribe anything specific. But getting outside and grounding yourself in nature, in the present moment can even be a spiritual practice.
Sometimes I wish I could do this all the time. My favourite thing to do is to sit outside and watch the sunset or look at the stars. Beach, forest, mountain, it doesn’t matter. But prioritising time in nature is an incredible act of self-care. I hope you make more time for it.
7. Organise your to-do list.
This is practical (and potentially boring) one, but it’s incredibly helpful. If you’re anything like me, forgetfulness is sewn into the threads of your brain. So in order to recalibrate and care for yourself and your life, making time to pull everything together and organise it slightly can be a radical act of self-care. Putting all my tasks and notes and admin things into one place (or a few different lists) can be very helpful in ensuring that you don’t become overwhelmed by the things you need to get done. It also ensures that you don’t feel like you're sabotaging yourself by forgetting tasks or letting people down in some way. I say this as a person whose ADHD has caused them a lot of frustration for just this.
8. Do something just for you.
In the book I’m reading, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, she explains the concept of an “Artist Date” as a tool that everyone can utilise, especially when attempting to recover and rediscover your creativity. What this entails is quite simple. Whether or not you identify as an “artist” is irrelevant, this tool is for anyone wanting to prioritise self-care and reconnect with themselves. Cameron says that once a week, you should set aside a dedicated amount of time (perhaps an hour or two) to do something by yourself, for yourself.
It’s a mandatory part of your week.
This date doesn’t have to be a “treat yourself” splurge or a lavish outing. You don’t even have to spend any money. The only rule is that you have to do it by yourself, and you have to make that time sacred. You can’t book a meeting over your date, or take someone with you. Other than that, it can be anything that means something to you.
Some “Artist Dates” I’ve taken myself on recently include going for a hot chocolate at a café and listening to Atlas by Sleeping At Last while writing in my journal, going for a cosy walk in the park by myself, sitting outside and painting a mini watercolour piece. For me, these dates usually involve something artistic because that’s a hugely important outlet for my soul. But for someone else it might be going to the gym, or turning your phone off and watching your favourite TV show by yourself, or even going to a rage room and hitting something with a bat. Whatever will help you let off steam, reconnect with yourself and help you find some emotional balance.
9. Create a moodboard.
I’m a Pinterest girl at heart (follow me!) and a visual learner and thinker. So when I’m feeling overwhelmed or sad or frustrated (or honestly any kind of emotion) I will make a moodboard. I will often put on a good playlist and scroll through my Pinterest feed. If I’m feeling in a particular mood or I’ve been thinking about a certain theme I will often make a moodboard that reflects what’s on my mind.
I like to use Canva to put it all into one document at a time. And from there I can resize it very easily so I can save my moodboard as my desktop wallpaper and my phone background.
10. Listen to your favourite music in your car.
Speaking completely honestly, the reason I love to listen to music in my car is because no one else can hear me. I don’t have to pretend to like any music except the music I actually love (which does include a lot of cringey musical theatre bops). And I can sing at the TOP of my lungs without being judged.
But you can listen to music anywhere. This tip is less about how you listen to music and more about the act of creating a space for yourself to just exist. A place where no one is around to judge you, or to make you feel insecure. If that means putting your headphones on and going for a walk, or lifting heavy weights at the gym, then do that! For me it means blasting music in my car and singing till my breath runs out. Whatever it means to you, find a place where you can just release that breath, that insecurity, that tension. I promise you, your soul will thank you.
If you got to the end of this list, thanks for sticking around! I’d love to hear from you some of the self-care things you do and live by. Share with me in the comments.
XOXO Amy
